in step, originally uploaded by bobsee.
It is important for each of us to be aware of our uniqueness and to celebrate our differences. We need that to develop a strong secure sense of self and we need it even at the level of our immune system which rigorously defends us against everything that is not us.
But we also need to connect, to build relationships and to share experiences with others. We can do that in many ways, and lots of those ways are quite subconscious. I wonder if these two young women went to the shoe shop together and bought these shoes? I wonder if they chose to wear them explicitly to make a connection with each other. They are different enough in the rest of their dress style after all.
But what really struck me in this shot was how in step they were. They’re not just wearing red shoes of similar (but not same) style, but they are walking perfectly in step. Almost like dancers.
You’ll be familiar with mirroring. It’s something I see in consultations frequently. When two people are connected, their unconscious gestures, (scratching their nose, touching their ear, body position etc) often mirror each other. There’s even a neurological theory about mirroring neurones which are networks in the brain which fire off movement patterns which would mimic another person’s movements.
Whatever the explanation, these connections are the basis of empathy – the ability, sometimes literally! to put yourself in another person’s shoes!






