How we figure out what other people think or how they are likely to act is a complex phenomenon, but here’s one interesting aspect of it. There’s a technique being used quite a lot these days to try and understand how our brains work. It’s called fMRI – which stands for functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging. This is a scanning technique which allows us to see which parts of the brain kick into action when we are thinking or doing certain things. A Harvard team have used this technique while getting volunteers to answer questions about how strangers might think on the basis of having been given short descriptions of the strangers before hand. The interesting thing is that there was a clear difference in which part of the brain was used to answer the questions depending on whether or not the volunteer thought the stranger was similar to themselves or not. When the volunteer thought the stranger was similar to themselves they used the same part of the brain to answer questions about what the stranger might think, that we all use for thinking about ourselves (the areas we use for introspection, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vMPFC)).
In summary, we are more likely to refer to our own experience and ideas of ourselves when trying to guess how another person will think or act, only if we consider that person to be like us. If we don’t think they are like us, we have to use other cues – and those other cues, most psychologists think, come from observations and society’s rules, not from personal reflection.
This isn’t a huge breakthrough in understanding but I’m sure it does say something about why we are able to be more empathic with some people than we are with others, and probably also why communities are wary of strangers. It’s the basis of that old “you’re not from round here are you?” question which indicates the stranger is thought to be, well, strange!
Heroes Not Zombies 
Do you think it’s possible, Doc (or even desirable) to STOP thinking of others as “other”?
I am trying to figure out a way to live with that paradox – how to celebrate diversity while recognizing that we are all essentially the SAME.
I’ve not quite gotten underneath that yet….
interesting question, mrschili! You’re right it’s one of those paradoxes we have to live with – like the one about belonging vs separateness.
On balance, I’d say it’s NOT desirable to stop thinking of others as “other” – if we do, we’re likely to miss what’s unique in them, and think they’re just the same as us (in other words, just see our projected selves, and not see the “other”)
There are many points of connection between ourselves and others and I think (using Deleuze’s concepts) that what is fascinating is to focus on “nodes”, or “intersections” – it’s in the areas of these connecting meeting points that we become who we are – unique/separate, yet similar/connected.
It’s a real thrill to discover a person’s uniqueness at the very same time as discovering their points of connection to us.