Heroes Not Zombies

It’s impossible to really know someone if you don’t take into consideration their relationships.

None of us exist in isolation.

The human baby wouldn’t survive if it wasn’t for the care and attention of others.

We have evolved as social creatures and both the quantity and quality of relationships we create influences who we become.

There’s a theory of development which highlights the default patterns which we all share and which become apparent in the earliest years, even days, of our lives. When the umbilical cord is cut, suddenly the child “knows” (not consciously) that they’ll die if they don’t take their first breath, then another and another. In those first moments we each experience a mix of fear, anger and separation anxiety. Which of these emotions becomes the strongest manifests itself throughout the rest of our life. How we respond to and cope with those emotions shapes who we become.

There’s a danger that our society has become hyper individualistic which drives division, separation and disconnection. None of that is conducive to good mental health, to a healthy immune system or to positive levels of inflammation. What emerges is dysfunction and disintegration at multiple levels, from cellular, to systemic, to social.

We all need a healthy level of belonging. We all need to love and be loved. We all need to care and be cared for.

The healthiest bonds are “integrative” bonds – relationships between well differentiated parts, or people, which are mutually beneficial.

What’s good for “us”, is good for “you” and “me”.

Forming integrative relationships is good for everyone and good for the planet, as we create caring, loving, mutually beneficial relationships with others, with other creatures, with the rest of Nature, with the planet.