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Archive for the ‘life’ Category

Let me tell you a story.

Last week, when visiting my parents, my mum said she was looking for her collection of Robert Burns poetry (it was Burns Day), and she came across her aunt Wilhelmina’s “Burns Birthday Record”. Here it is
Burns Birthday Book

I’ve never seen a book like this before. You can see it was owned by my great aunt. Here’s her name and the date she got the book
Burns Birthday Book

25th February 1907. Wilhelmina Rosie was my mum’s father’s sister. Here she is with my gran and grandpa and their first born (my mum). This is taken in Orkney in front of Evie Primary School where Aunt Mina was schoolmistress all her working life.

mum, gran and grandpa and great aunt mina

I started to browse through her Burns Birthday Record
Burns Birthday Book
entries in the Burns Birthday Book

You’ll see that the idea of the book is to enter someone’s name at the date of their birthday, opposite the little quote from Burns. The first thing that struck me was the surnames. There are lots of names here I’ve never come across in all my life. Apparently that’s because many of the names were typically Orcadian but I’m still a little surprised. My grandfather was, for example, Orcadian but moved south to Stirling. Did a lot of these families never move out of Orkney?

entries in the Burns Birthday Book

The next thing I noticed was that they weren’t all written by the same person. Maybe she wrote most of them herself but sometimes her friends would write in their own names? I browsed the entire book, wondering about all these people and their strange names. Several had the same surname so there were clearly a few families represented. Then I came across this entry in December.

entries in the Burns Birthday Book

This entry stands right out.

It’s the only entry in the whole book which gives the person’s full date of birth and the date they died. And it’s the only entry with a quote from the Bible added. Here’s why. George Folsetter was Wilhelmina’s love. They were engaged to be married but he fell from his horse, aged 26, and died. She never married. You’ll see the date of George’s death was 1903, but Aunt Wilhelmina only got her book in 1907.

Look up the quote from Numbers Chapter 18. I had trouble finding it. I assumed that in her day, she’d have a “King James” version of the Bible but in fact the quote comes from the “Revised Standard Version” which was only published for the first time in 1901, six years before she got her Birthday book. I’m not terribly clear why she picked this particular verse, but the chapter as a whole is about tithes and giving the first of the best of all you have to God.

I heard Eddie Reader, in an introduction to Burns’ song, “Ae Fond Kiss”, that the Nancy for whom he wrote the song, lived to her 80s and every year wrote in her diary on December 14th “This day I’ll never forget for this was the last day I saw Robert”

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Out walking the other day and I came across this mark on the ground,

the other mark

It’s like a butterfly or a flower or something. What was it? Isn’t it strange and beautiful?

Actually I’ve a pretty good idea what it is. Take a look at the other mark which was nearby,

the mark

One of the interesting things about these marks for me is that I find them compellingly beautiful but they are for sure just accidents, unintentional, the unintended marks left while doing something other than making a mark. They aren’t art. They weren’t even created deliberately but they are definitely the hand of a human being all the same.

Everything we do makes a mark, doesn’t it? Has effects we don’t necessarily intend and leaves the world a little changed.

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Belief and buses

Maybe you’ve read about the Aethist Bus Campaign? A group of aethists working with the British Humanist Association have raised money for an aethist message to be placed on 800 buses. The message is “There probably is no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life”.

I understand how the campaign began as a response to Christian adverts on buses, but I must admit my immediate response was – What evidence is there that people who believe in God worry more than those who don’t? And what evidence is there that not believing in God frees you to enjoy your life? Neither of these beliefs strike me as particularly rational. Surely there are both atheists and thiests who worry, and how on earth do we figure out whether or not there’s a relationship between enjoying your life and believing that God either does not, or does, exist? I bet there’s no general consensus on that one!

So the bus ad campaign seems to be no more than a battle of believers – between those who believe there is a God and those who believe there isn’t. Both groups would like us to adopt their particular beliefs. My own take on buses is…….there’ll be another one along in a minute!

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Mark Vernon posted about an interview with Diana Athill. She’s 91 years old and is the oldest writer to win the Costa Book Prize for her book, “Somewhere Towards the End”, which is about aging. I can see there is a lot of wisdom in her book and I was especially struck by this –

‘I remember when I was young once hearing my mother talking to someone and saying, thank God she hadn’t had to go to a dance last week. And I thought to myself that if I ever reach the stage when I thank God for not having to go to a dance, I shall kill myself.’

Sometimes I hear a doctor thanking God that a patient hasn’t turned up for his or her appointment and that always makes me think that’s a sad thing to be thanking God for. If I ever find myself thanking God that I don’t have to see patients today, I won’t kill myself, but I’ll go and do something else instead. Why keep doing what isn’t really your passion? And, the other side of that coin, doing what you are passionate about makes your life richer (and maybe even longer!)

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We all need to pause now and again and reflect. Reflect on the past, browsing through some memories; reflect on the present, taking a look at ourselves, and our lives, with fresh eyes; and, reflect on the future, imagining where our current paths might lead.
You’ll be doing some of that today I bet. Take your time. And do it again, often.

The past….where we come from, where are roots lie, where we grow from…..
Lundin stone circle

The present….constantly changing before our very eyes, what we notice, what we become aware of…..
freezing loch

The future…..where the old paths and the new ones might lead…….
loch and sky

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angel
I saw this angel overlooking George Square in Glasgow…….got me thinking about angels and one of my favourite films of all time – Wim Wender’s “Wings of Desire”. If you haven’t seen it, you might have seen the US re-make which was called “City of Angels”.
What I love about this movie is how it is a celebration of the wonder of being human. It tells the story of angels watching over people in Berlin (the original movie does, anyway). One of the angels longs for the opportunity to experience what human beings can experience, and he gets his wish, falls to earth and becomes human. His wonder at the range of physical sensations, his connection to others and his longing for love are portrayed wonderfully. It’s that “emerveillement” I’ve posted about recently.
If you’ve never seen it, you’ve missed something. The original is in German but is readily available with English subtitles.

When preparing this post, I stumbled across this fanvid on youtube, where someone has set some scenes from Wings of Desire to Nick Cave’s “Into my arms”. It works.

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Stirling, Scotland, where I was born is dominated by a beautiful Castle.

Stirling Castle and Ochils

I saw a news item on the BBC recently which announced the hanging, in the Chapel Royal within the Castle, of the latest tapestry in the series “The Hunting of the Unicorn”, so I decided to go and see the unicorn for myself. As part of a project to restore the Palace in the Castle, Historic Scotland has commissioned the weaving of a series of tapestries depicting a unicorn. James VI and I’s mother, Mary Queen of Scots, and her mother Marie of Guise were known to have such tapestries hanging in the Palace but the originals have long since disappeared. To give visitors an impression of life in the Castle in the 16th and 17th centuries, a team of weavers are making copies of a famous set of unicorn tapestries from that period. The original medieval set, known as “The Hunting of the Unicorn”, can be seen in the Cloisters in New York.

The new tapestries are hung in the Chapel Royal for now, while the Palace is restored (all the tapestries should be complete by the time the Palace refurbishment in complete in 2011).

Chapel Stirling Castle

Hunting the Unicorn

The Unicorn

Unicorns are very familiar creatures to Scots. King Robert III was the first to use the unicorn in the Royal insignia, and the Stuart kings developed the motif further using both rampant unicorns on heraldic emblems and producing silver coins with the unicorn stamped on them. It was James VI and I who brought together the Scottish unicorn and the English lion when he became king of both countries. So it’s not hard to find unicorns in Scotland. They’re on flags, stone carvings, painted insignia, they stand proud on the tops of buildings and adorn many monuments.

Let me tell you a little of what I’ve discovered about the mythology and the symbolism of the unicorn, and, in particular, of the unicorn stories represented in the tapestries.

The unicorn was believed to be so wild that it could not be hunted and captured, except by using a maiden, or virgin. To capture a unicorn you’d bring a maiden into the forest and the unicorn would come and lay its head on her lap and fall asleep. Only then could you capture it. “The Hunting of the Unicorn” series depicts the unicorn like a stag being hunted, but strangely ends with the last one I’ve photographed above where the unicorn is alive, its wounds seemingly not to have harmed it, enclosed in a garden and chained by a golden chain to a pomegranate tree. There are two common readings of this story. The first claims that the story represents the Passion of Christ from his birth to his cruxifixion, and the second claims that the unicorn is the lover, the hunters are love and the maiden is the beloved. In this latter interpretation, the lover is wounded by love (but the wounds, like Cupid’s arrows, don’t kill), and is captured by his beloved to whom he is then married (the symbol of the pomegranate tree). This second interpretation is, I think, especially interesting. It tells us about the wild, free, passionate one, becoming captured and tamed by (bound to) the maiden (who as the Virgin, or Madonna, represents unconditional love).

If you take these interpretations of the tapestries, then look at another unicorn tapestry series which is in the Musee de Cluny in Paris – “La Dame a la Licorne” – which depicts the maiden with a unicorn in six tapestries, one each representing a sense, taste, sight, touch, smell, hearing and the sixth entitled “A Mon Seul Desir” (where the maiden places her necklace in a casket), I think the overall effect is really very interesting.

Could these tapestries be telling us something about psychology? You could easily see the unicorn as wild passion, especially when placed next to each of the five senses. In fact, if you look at the panel “Touch” in the Cluny series, it’s not difficult to see the unicorn’s horn from a Freudian perspective! Does the unicorn represent the libidinous ID? And is the Virgin, the source and symbol of unconditional love, the Superego? If so, and if we accept Saint-Exupery’s use of the term “taming” in his “Little Prince” which is about forming a bond, then the final panel in “The Hunt” really shows us the potential of a healthy, realistic ego – the union of the passions with love.

OK, so that last paragraph is what woke me up at 5am this morning, and I’m not entirely sure what I think about it yet, but there is it is. I thought I’d share it with you. If these wonderful works of art and craft teach us that our goal should be to live a life of passion and unconditional love then I’d recommend we all go unicorn hunting!

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You’ve probably read somewhere the advice that you live today as if it were your last day on Earth. It’s a common counsel, and it’s supposed to get you to better appreciate the present. The argument goes that we tend to live unconsciously (like zombies), dreaming about better tomorrows or ruminating over worse yesterdays, and if we would only wake up (like heroes), and appreciate our moments of living as we live them, then our quality of life would be increased. We would be more alive to this present moment.

Certainly it’s true that if you were to think about how you might choose to spend today then you may well make different choices if you knew you had less time left to live than you had previously assumed. Some people make this an explicit exercise and consciously influence their choices on the basis of an assumption that this really is the last year they have to live. It’s something of this idea behind the movie, The Bucket List (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) – what would you put on your list to do before you “kick the bucket”?

The French philosopher, Pierre Hadot, writes about this in his “N’oublie pas de vivre”, but takes it to another level, I think. He suggests you reflect at the end of each day and see if you can say “Today, I have lived”, or “Today, I’ve had all the pleasure I could have hoped for” (he means in the context of this day, not the whole of life). In other words, knowing that you will never live this day ever again, can you say you have lived it fully? It’s about understanding just how precious this day is, and then being grateful for it. This is where he then takes the idea to a different level by combining it with the concept of “emerveillement” – of wonder and amazement. As well as living this day fully as if it were your last opportunity to do so (which it is!), approach the day as if you’d never lived it before (which you haven’t!). This latter concept is about not losing what we all had as children where the ordinary everyday was filled with wonder, where tastes were new, colours, shapes and sounds were whole worlds to be explored.

I think this is a powerful combination of concepts which can increase the intensity of the present, and in so doing, make us feel more alive.

Live life consciously, engaging with every day as if it were your first and your last, because, this really is your first and your last chance to experience today!

Rainbow over the Carse

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Here’s one way to think about the hurts and wounds in your life, and how to address them.

Gravity is a force we don’t understand. How can two objects exert an influence on each other at a great distance? There doesn’t appear to be any kind of invisible string connecting them! Einstein came up with an interesting theory, however. He proposed that space and time were warped – that rather than being spread evenly in all directions, there were dips and undulations. The best way to think about this is to imagine a cloth. If you place, say, two oranges on a table cloth they will just stay where you placed them. However if you stretch the cloth out and allow the first orange placed to make a dip in the middle, then the next orange will inevitably fall towards the first one. Here’s a drawing from wikipedia, to explain Einstein’s theory, which shows what I mean –

spacetime_curvature

I think life is a bit like this too.

Events and experiences make an impression on us. Hurtful or painful ones leave dents in our psyche (or our bodies!) Death of a loved one is like this. It hits us, dents us, leaves a wound, changes our life forever. But, more than just a dent, this wound, or lesion, seems to have the power to draw life towards it. We find our minds constantly returning to it. The landscape of our life has changed. Things don’t look the same any more.

If we were like cars, we’d pop along to the body shop and have a panel beater knock the ding out making the surface nice and smooth again. He’d remove the dent for us. But we’re not like cars and there aren’t any panel beaters to take away a death.

One approach to deal with this is to try to remove the effects of the impact – drugs try to do this – antidepressants, sedatives to reduce anxiety or agitation, or to induce sleep for example. However, this approach doesn’t change the landscape. It doesn’t remove either the dent or its impact.

Another approach is the talking one. People are encouraged in counselling or psychotherapy to talk about the event or the experience and to in the process to try and change its impact on their present life. The difficulty inherent in this approach is that it can reinforce the strength of the dent. By focusing attention and energy on it, it can become all-consuming, increasing it’s pull and therefore its effect.

I think there’s another way.

Make more dents!

It’s not only negative experiences which make an impact. Positive ones can do it too. This is the approach used in positive psychology for example. By actively engaging in positive experiences we take an active role in fashioning the landscape of our lives. This is very different from the passive approach which can be utterly disempowering.

I know that when the impact of a negative event is large it’s effects are strong and long lasting, and the dent can be so deep it can be very difficult to climb out of it’s powerful influence. It acts like a black hole and draws everything to it. In such circumstances a combination of approaches might be needed covering all three of the main strategies I’ve written about above. There aren’t any right or wrong approaches here, but having a model to work with can help you understand what’s happening and find a way to change life when you feel totally trapped.

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I recently came across this quotation from Martha Graham

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is on a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

I think this is SO good! From my perspective as a medical doctor, I, too, see that in each of us there is a unique vitality. It’s not an entity but it’s certainly a reality. It energises us; it organises us; protects us and maintains our health. And on top of all that it’s the source of our growth. In times gone by people have considered this phenomenon to be some kind of entity and have named it either the “vital principle”, or the “vital force”. The most modern scientific understanding would be that it’s probably better understood as simply a characteristic of a complex organism. But this quote from Martha Graham is much more poetic than that!

It’s inspirational!

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