I just came across a paper about “Post-traumatic Embitterment Disorder”. Apparently “embitterment” is a new term in psychological classification and this study aims to demonstrate that by using new questionnaires (what psychologists call “scales” to introduce a sense of measurability to what is a purely subjective phenomenon) they can show “Post-traumatic Embitterment Disorder” is a “sub-type of adjustment disorders”. What they are trying to show is that some people who are so severely psychologically injured by a life event that they become “impaired” by it exhibit more bitterness about their experience than others do and the claim is that this constitutes a definable category of disorder.
I am so in two minds about this.
Here’s the positive side. I think everyone tries to make sense of their lives. It’s what we do. We want to understand our experience, to make some sense of it, and, unless we do that, it’s hard to be an effective “agent” of your own life. In other words, first we need to understand a situation, then we can make some choices to engage with it differently and so develop our own particular paths forward. If we can’t do that for ourselves, we need to get the help of others. Those others might be friends or loved ones, or might be other people in the community who have different skills and who might be able to help. One of those groups of people in the community is the professional health carers – a doctor, a nurse, a psychologist or a counsellor for example. If you take your story to one of these people, they’ll try to interpret it from a medical perspective. A doctor, for example, is skilled at making a diagnosis – finding out whether or not you have a disease. But, diagnosis is about more than naming a disease. It’s a kind of understanding. It’s a kind of making sense of a patient’s experience. Without a diagnosis, a doctor can’t treat you effectively. So, if this new “diagnosis” helps some people to be better understood, then it’s useful.
Here’s the downside. First of all, a diagnosis declares an experience as a disease or illness. It’s not a healthy experience. Once the experience becomes classified as a disease or illness, then the way to change it, the way to provide help becomes one of treatment. Treatment of psychological illnesses tend to involve either prescribing a drug, or undertaking a talking therapy of some kind. A talking therapy which releases someone from a stuck way of thinking and therefore helps them understand their situation can well help that person to make different choices and so have a different experience. A drug solution makes sense if you can explain the experience materially – by showing some imbalance of chemicals in the brain for example – in such a situation a drug can be part of a solution too. It can help a person to find new ways of thinking by changing the way the brain functions. But when you take every experience of life and try to classify it and declare some of it as disorder or disease then you risk medicalising life and you risk reducing human experience to chemical imbalances which can be addressed with drugs. I don’t find that either life-enhancing, or a personally empowering way to live.
Bitterness? Is this a medical disorder? Is this a disease to be treated? Or is it part of an experience which needs to be understood in order to release someone from a stuck place? If someone is bitter, they are usually stuck. And without help they can find it hard to see things differently. So bitterness needs to be addressed, but do I need something like the “Bern Embitterment Scale” to be able to see this?
What do you think?
I’m not really sure that all “negative” experiences or thoughts in life are really bad for us. They could very well be just necessary steps. So in treating something to correct the bitter/negative, or make it go away, could really be messing up an important step to a healing process – one that develops inside of our own minds with our own healing pace. I can only speak from my own experiences with things that I am still affected by, but the bitterness was definitely part of learning, and gaining the fore site to make different choices in my future. I’ve come to all of that without any therapy or drugs or medical attention. I kind of think that many times going to a doctor is just an excuse to quit facing the reality of life and dealing with hard issues that can really only be fixed on our own, inside of our own minds by the choices that we are ultimately responsible to make.
that’s 2 cents worth, anyway
Oh Ester, thank you so much for sharing that. I TOTALLY agree. Those are exactly my concerns – that drugs suppress rather than heal and that talking therapies medicalise a life experience. I’m going to guess here but I bet the way you’ve dealt with this, including being able to use the bitterness as part of learning, has brought you not just a coping but a growth.
Thank you for that comment – worth WAY more than two cents!!
I just read a great post by quotesqueen which fits really well with issue and the arabic proverb she shares is fabulous –
“Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. Let go of all emotions, such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish you, and hold onto the emotions, such as joy and gratitude, which increase you.”
Quotesqueen writes great posts and finds fabulous quotes. Go see.
I had a patient who was a big strong young man and developed MS. As you know, MS can be quite variable. His was quite aggressive. Despite the best neurology consultation etc., he wound up confined to bed by middle age. If the guy was bitter, he never let on. I was always inspired by him, and if I started to complain of anything, would think of him and decide not to.
He has passed on, but I often think of him when I see someone bitter over trivial circumstances.
I try not to judge anyone, though, ’cause I have been lucky my whole life, and have nothing to be bitter over.
I’m not sure if bitterness is medical or not, but it sure can be hard to cure.
Dr. B
i will go see – thank you
Hey, thanks for the plug, Bob! 🙂
I think anytime we’re stuck it can take something radical to move us–often hitting bottom, it seems. Sometimes drugs, or therapy, or a new outlook or environment are essential to getting us “unstuck.” But always that kind of intervention should be thought of as temporary, I think. (This from someone who has taken anti-depressant medication for 24 years!)
Some of us have such ingrained neural pathways that it may take 25 years of medication to overcome them, I guess…but I think, ultimately, if we are not clinically depressed, neurologically handicapped (and probably even if we are), that happiness or bitterness is mostly a choice we make.