“In Praise of Love” by Alain Badiou [1846687799] presents a simple but thought-provoking idea about love. He proposes that love is about the creation of a two person view of the world, instead of the single, individual one. As understood from a complexity position, what emerges in this linking up is greater than the sum of its parts
the real subject of a love is the becoming of the couple and not the mere satisfaction of the individuals that are its component parts.
Quite poetically he describes it this way
It is like two musical instruments that are completely different in tone and volume, but which mysteriously converge when unified by a great musician in the same work.
What really resonated most strongly with me, however, was his key insistence that love is about difference – about seeking difference, creating difference, delighting in difference…
what kind of world does one see when one experiences it from the point of view of two and not one? What is the world like when it is experienced, developed and lived from the point of view of difference and not identity? That is what I believe love to be. It is the project, naturally including sexual desire in all its facets, including the birth of a child, but also a thousand other things, in fact, anything from the moment our lives are challenged by the perspective of difference.
Beautiful.
This is a different view of love from the traditional romantic love, which, sadly, I feel, too easily slides into something which turns one person into the love object of the other. I prefer Badiou’s idea – it’s more equal, and, ultimately, incredibly more exciting….
Heroes Not Zombies 
I, too, love the line “anything from the moment our lives are challenged by the perspective of difference”. . .and when that expands from “two” to more, how powerful is that love.
I think differences are also important – everyone knows that opposites attract, as it is no fun sitting on the seesaw with both of you on one side 😉 However, the challenge is to STAY together and in my experience, this is only achieved by having similar VALUES, despite being different. Common goals are also important, or at least goals that can fit and not conflict too much. I like “becoming a couple” though, that is cool. I see too many marriages of convenience for each party unfortunately, as they compromised too much (in my eyes anyway). The idea is that being a couple ENHANCES each individual, rather than creating compromise where security seems easier than principal. Most people do not want to wait though, so we end up learning the hard way (or not learning and repeating the pattern to reclaim that perceived security).