In the A to Z of Becoming, G is for GIVE.
Do you think giving is a satisfying experience?
I do. In fact, I think giving enriches your life.
Some people say life is a game of give and take, and that there are givers and takers. I’m sure you’ve come across that idea, and you can probably also identify individuals in your own world who are givers, and those who are takers. Not many people would be happy to accept the label of “taker”, and being known as a “giver” feels like being appreciated.
I’m not sure how useful labels are however, so I’m not thinking this week about who are the givers and who are the takers. What I want to be aware of this week are my opportunities to give.
What can I give?
My time, my attention, my compassion, my love, my effort, my full engagement with this present moment, my acts of kindness……
None of these are things, but I might have opportunities this week to give things too. What I find interesting is that we tend to think of gift giving as being about things, and I think physical gifts can be important. But, here’s something to experiment with this week….give every day, and make a note of what you give (in fact, even better, write an entry in your journal about it…..describe the circumstances of your giving, what your giving involved and why you decided to give) and then reflect next weekend on your week of giving.
How does it feel to give?
Let me give you this photograph (you can click through on any of my photos and download them for yourself, if you wish)
I stumbled across this in Kyoto a while back. In fact, I saw it a few times because it was in a street near my hotel.
I love this. Here is a game of Go, with a tub of black stones, and a tub of white stones. Anyone is free to make a move. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this in any other city. I wonder if the players know each other? It did strike me that every play was an act of giving, a gift of participation, a contributory gift, a gift of engagement.
Heroes Not Zombies 
Yes Bob,
I agree that giving is a satisfying experience. Sometimes it felt that the amount of satisfaction I got from giving almost felt selfish at times. This came to light for me a few years ago when following a shamanic path involving Native American Indian traditions. One of their practices was to give anonymously, one I found extremely challenging. If I could not give without the payoff of feeling joyfully satisfied did this mean my giving was somehow flawed?
Sometime later I was able to answer that question. In a vulnerable position financially, physically and emotionally, many came to my aid; they cooked for me, gave me money and compassionately witnessed me. I was very grateful for this support and generosity but at the same time there was some extreme discomfort being in the position of receiving. It felt like shame and I realise my giving had been tainted. Learning to receive graciously without shame eventually taught me how to give from the same place. I stabilised and once again became capable of giving but this time from a place of enormous gratitude. At times I swear it’s as if myself and the recipient occupy the same space and I feel almost no distinction between us. It feels a cleaner way to give, whether it’s money, my time, attention, compassion etc.
Thanks for raising this matter Bob.