In the A to Z of Becoming, U is for “understand”.
This is a verb which is close to my heart. At times I think of myself as insatiably curious, but in fact, it’s not mere knowledge I seek, it’s understanding. I don’t want to collect facts, statistics or data, I want to understand. I think that’s why I’m not impressed with the current version of “evidence based” whatever (the kind which applies the term “evidence based” as a kind of quality marker with a claim that if it has this label, then this action, or opinion, or choice, has some kind of superior status).
I often wonder what is a doctor’s job, and, at least one conclusion I reach is that it is to understand. Every patient I meet presents a story to me which I do my best to understand, and in my pursuit of understanding, I think I don’t only make a “diagnosis” or a “formulation” but I enable the person to understand themselves better. It’s a shared venture, the doctor-patient relationship, and it’s founded on the pursuit of understanding.
There is such a difference between understanding and judging. To judge, is to conclude. And that conclusion often involves approval or disapproval. The General Semanticists say “Judgement stops thought“. Also, in making these judgements there is some assumption that the one doing the judging has some superiority. To understand, on the other hand, requires a certain humility. In my opinion anyway, it does not involve leaping to conclusions. Understanding is more a never finished process. It is always possible to understand more, to understand more deeply, more fully, to understand better.
I think that to understand requires an attitude based on love. If you love and care for someone you open up the potential to understand them. If you love Nature, you are more likely to try to understand her. If you love a plant, you are more likely to understand what it needs to thrive, so you become more able to nurture it.
Understanding can create healthy bonds.
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