Heroes Not Zombies

It seems to me that a lot of people are talking about hope….and it’s opposite, hopelessness. It’s hardly surprising. Here we are just past the second equinox of the year and still trying to work out how to cope with the COVID-19 virus. A lot of people are feeling pretty fed up with the whole thing and I’m not sure saying “This is the new normal, get used to it!” is particularly helpful……although I understand the thinking behind the practice of acceptance.

There’s a lot more going on in the world which isn’t about coronaviruses and what’s causing you to feel despair, or giving you grounds for hope, will be different according to your own personal circumstances and which society you are living in.

I emigrated from Scotland, the country of my birth, when I retired six years ago. I’ve lived here in South West France ever since. So there are specific issues related to Europe which affect me a lot. Yep, the coronavirus thing, which has had a huge impact on life here, and back in Scotland where my family live. And Brexit, which seems to have dragged on and on and on for years now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself waiting for some deadline to roll around and find out what laws and regulations are going to be changed which will require me to try and figure out how I’ll have to adapt.

There are, of course, global issues which bother me a lot too…..from climate change, to growing inequality, the democratic deficits in most so-called democratic countries, the decline of health care and education under the pressures of neo-liberal economics…….ok, ok, you get the idea.

Seriously, it’s not too hard to despair, is it? But can we live that way? Experiencing despair every day? Feeling hopeless and helpless? I don’t think so. The best I could say about any of that is that this is all a wake up call, an alarm bell, a provocation to make me do something…..but what?

I think it calls me to do a few things. Firstly, to wake up. To become aware. To pay attention, and to pay attention to what I’m paying attention to! Because it’s way too easy to fill my headspace with stuff which is scary, but which is either speculation or propaganda. So, I find that I’m drawn more and more into the natural world around me…..to see Little Owl sitting with her partner on the roof of the barn next door, to hear the distant calls of the Buzzards as they swoop way, way over my head riding invisible air currents effortlessly, to see the leaves begin to fall from the mulberry tree, to gather up the year’s harvest of pumpkins, tomatoes, and the last of the courgettes, figs and peppers, to see the clouds thicken and darken as the wind starts to blow through the garden warning me that change is coming……..

So that’s one thing….to be more present. In the here and now. To be more aware of the real world which I’m living in. But that’s not enough, is it? Because I am not separate from the rest of humanity, from the rest of life on the planet, from the rest of the planet, even. So, I explore, follow my curiosity and try to learn…..to learn about the lives of others (something I filled my daily life with during my working days as a doctor), to learn about this planet we share, to ask questions, to wonder and to listen.

Second, what I learn calls me to respond. How am I going to respond? With hatred, anger and fear? With love, calmness and confidence? Turns out I have a choice, and the choices I make strengthen themselves……the more I invest in any of these responses, the more strongly I react in exactly these ways. I think that’s maybe one of the most important lessons of my life…..reinforcement, the power of habit, how “what fires together wires together” in neurological terms, how the brain and the body change their shape and form according to repeated experiences.

So, that’s why I return today to this rainbow. This symbol of hope. Because I don’t see a good life is possible without it. I don’t see growth is possible without it. We all need hope.

Hope isn’t wishing away the bad stuff. That doesn’t work. It’s about acting with an anticipation of more love, calmness and confidence. Well, that’s what I’m focusing on just now anyway. Let me share a couple of examples. When I was a Junior Doctor working in hospital one of my responsibilities on duty was to lead the Cardiac Arrest Team. When someone needed resuscitation I’d get an urgent call and run at top speed to wherever they were in the hospital. So would several other doctors and nurses. I’m sure you’ve watched enough medical dramas to know that this particular event was a hugely challenging and stressful one. I’d feel that too. My heart thumping, my hands trembling, knowing that what I did right now might make the difference between life and death for someone. Yet, time and again, other people in the team would say they’d instantly feel calm once I arrived. I had this reputation for inducing calm. Actually that astonished me because I certainly wasn’t feeling calm inside! But it did teach me that being calm wasn’t about not being bothered…..it was more about being focused on the here and now…..more about being fully present and engaged.

How could I have gone to work every day if I hadn’t had hope? What would be the point of seeing the next patient if I hadn’t the hope that I could help to improve their life? I’ve thought about that a lot, and I don’t think I could have done it unless I had the love and confidence I needed to anticipate at the least the real possibility of a better outcome.

And, there, I think, lies the key. Hope isn’t actually about the details of the future, and it’s not about control or power. It’s about reinforcing my core values – love, calm and confidence. I am sure that every one of those increases only by acting in loving, calm and confident ways.

So, back to coronavirus….do I have hope? Yes, I do. I believe that if I approach this by trying to spread more positivity in the world, by repeating and reinforcing loving acts of kindness, by sharing moments of calm, and perhaps by inspiring some confidence, then I’m doing the best I can do today. That’s why I’m still writing these posts. If you’ve been with me since the beginning of this pandemic you’ll know I declared the intention to write and share a positive post every day during the “lockdown” or “confinement” as we call it here in France, well that intention has spread beyond the end of that phase and here I am, kind of addicted to writing these little pieces, sharing my favourite photos, and spreading my positive thoughts.

I hope that brings you some hope!