Heroes Not Zombies

I took this photo outside the Guggenheim in Bilbao a long time ago. It’s one of my favourite photos and one of my favourite sculptures.

If you look very closely you can see that each sphere reflects several other spheres, and in some of those reflections you can see even more spheres reflected. It’s a bit like one of those halls of mirrors which generate an infinity of images.

If I look very, very closely I can see myself in several of the spheres. And at the same time each sphere contains an image of the immediate surroundings. It’s almost like a hologram where every node shows the whole scene.

But what I always think of when I look at this photo is the concept of the Self as multiple.

We each think of ourselves as a single, unique human being, and we’re right to think that, but in fact that “single” is “multiple”. Every one of us has multiple threads woven together to create a unique tapestry. Every one of us has multiple facets which each glisten when a different light shines on them.

One pretty straight forward way to get a sense of this in yourself is to think of how you are, how you behave, what you think and feel, in different relationships and different situations. Chances are you can see pretty clearly how different you are at work from when you are at home with your family. Or how different you are with different friends.

This only feels odd or false if you try to say that only one of these aspects of your Self is the “true me”. They all are.

Different relationships will bring to life different parts of you, and certain situations will repeatedly bring to the fore particular thoughts, feelings, behaviours and energies.

There are whole therapeutic practices built around the concepts of multiple selves in relation to each other – communities or families of selves.

I’ve always found it helpful to consider each patient as multiple. It helps prevent labelling, categorising and so failing to get to know and understand a whole person. So, I’m always very keen to hear as many stories as possible …. not just the story of the present problem, but family stories, relationship stories, work stories as well as past medical stories.

And here’s the thing which I found hard to grasp at first – not all these selves fit together nicely. We contain multiple and often paradoxical selves. That’s just how things are. We are complex beings with egos, shadows, different drives and desires. It takes a lifetime to get to know them and accept them, but that’s what growth and flourishing are about.