This is my experience in life – the default, routine, normal way that people live is kindness and caring.
When that’s not the case, something has gone wrong – they’ve either been traumatised and are still suffering from those wounds, or they are living in circumstances which are brutalising, dehumanising.
Ok, I accept, that’s probably too black and white, probably an example of two-value, binary, either/or thinking of which I am always wary. But I want to place it this way as a starting point.
This is where I start.
I expect people to default to kindness and care, and again and again, it’s what I experience in an ordinary everyday. But when I encounter the opposite, unkindness and selfishness, I feel my defences rise and become aware of an instinct to withdraw and distance myself.
Of course there is a lot of cruelty, violence and injustice in the world, but that tells me something is wrong with how we live, because the fundamental instincts of humans are of kindness and care.
I don’t deny that there are also strong human selfish, even greedy instincts, but I think it’s a bit like the old Native American story of the two hungry wolves inside us, and which one do we choose to feed. If we organise society around selfishness and greed, glorifying power and riches, then no wonder the bad Wolf becomes the dominant one.
Even in this late stage neoliberal capitalism i still find that kindness and care are the default instincts of my neighbours, my patients and my colleagues. The narcissism and greed which is despoiling our little planet seem to dominate mainly in those who gain power, whether through politics, wealth or violence.
Are we ready to recognise that the system brings out the worst in the elite, and that there, trickle down really does happen (as is not the case with wealth), stoking division, greed and selfishness throughout the population?
Are we able to imagine and create a society based on kindness and care? I think we are.
Heroes Not Zombies 
The two wolves – hadn’t come across this story/image before, but my goodness, it’s powerful. As a dyed in the wool Scottish Presbyterian, I’m all too familiar with notions of human wickedness, original sin, total depravity and all the rest of it. Not only are these terribly depressing, but they also conflict with the undoubted fact, as you point out, that when you meet ordinary folk, their default position does indeed seem to be goodness, kindness, care and consideration. A very helpful and enlightening story, and thanks for introducing me to it.