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Posts Tagged ‘self-care’

In the obsessively micro-managed world we live in now it’s more important than ever for us to take a pause. We are being bombarded with talk of crises, of doom, of having to everything faster, consume ever more, do everything so-called more efficiently.

But we humans are not machines. And we shouldn’t lead our lives, or construct our workplaces according to industrial machine-like principles.

Time and time again you can find creatives….artists, writers, composers, musicians, sculptors and so on tell you they need to have some breaks, some times where they just sit, or they sit and daydream. We need times to just step off the treadmill. We need to pause to gather our thoughts, to become more aware of the present moment, and to restore our depleted reserves of energy.

What length should a pause be?

There is no fixed amount. It can be a short as taking three deep breaths. It can be a few minutes, or a few hours. We need bigger breaks than that too, which is why it’s important to take all your annual leave from work. For some people it’s a sabbatical that they need. But the kind of pause I’m thinking about here, is the kind we all need, every single day.

I’m impressed by how in France there is a habit of stopping for a proper lunch…not grabbing a factory produced sandwich and a can of coke on the way to work and wolfing them down at the desk. They take time to go to a restaurant or cafe, to sit down, have a meal and share some time with workmates or friends. Then back to get on with the rest of the day. There’s still a widespread tradition of working five days a week, not seven here, so that everyone can have some family time, some home time, to do with as they want.

How about you? What pauses do you build into your everyday? What pauses would you like to build in, and why not start today?

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I’ve read that we live in an attention economy. Marketers, producers, companies and individuals are all competing for our attention. They pay the social media companies to promote themselves to us using attention grabbing, and attention holding tools and techniques. “Influencers” can only influence if they attract attention, so they do whatever they need to do in order to achieve that goal.

I was pretty shocked on a recent trip to Milan to discover how “instagrammable” has become a major force. Certain buildings, certain viewpoints, or “attractions” were surrounded by dozens of, mostly young female, photographers, either taking pictures of themselves in front of whatever it was that had become “instagrammable”, or having someone else take their portraits there. Some even used portable reflectors, to “get the light right”, and had changes of clothing to model. I joked that my wife and I, standing in front of the Duomo, were the only people in the crowd actually facing the building. Most were trying to make it more beautiful, or more interesting, by putting it in the background, and themselves in the foreground.

That’s not a new phenomenon. A few years ago on a visit to the Alhambra in Grenada, I was surprised to find that most people who were taking photos of the amazing art and architecture, were only doings so by putting themselves into the foreground of each frame.

But attention is important. It’s how we see and experience the world we live in, and it influences our moment to moment moods, thoughts, and actions.

Ellen Langer, who studies “mindfulness”, describes it, simply as, “actively noticing things”.

I love that.

This “heroes not zombies” blog is all about living a more mindful life, and, I believe, that requires two things, both created out of attention. The first is, “noticing”, or as Ellen Langer says, “actively noticing”. When we pay attention, when we set out with an intention to notice – to notice the world around us, to notice others, to notice our thoughts and feelings – then we move into a more active, more conscious mode of existence. We reduce the chances of blindly following the influences and powers of others who try to shape our lives. The second is, to pay “loving attention”. I think whatever we pay attention gets magnified. If we focus on problems, we fill our lives with problems. If we focus on joys, of moments of awe and wonder, then we fill our lives with amazement and delight. But when we pay attention from a loving position – from a position of care, of empathy, of genuine interest, and love – then our attention changes, not only our own lives for the better, that of others…..whether they be other people, animals, plants, the environment, or the planet.

So, I’m all for paying attention – do it actively and do it lovingly – not mindlessly.

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