Heroes Not Zombies

Habits.

We all have habits – LOTS of them! People often talk about habits as if they are bad things, and they can be, but we have them for a reason and don’t we all classify habits into two types anyway – “good” and “bad”?

Before I go any further let me just reiterate that I’m really not a fan of what is referred to as “two value thinking” – categorising whatever we are thinking about into boxes – “good” or “bad”, “black” or “white”, “right” or “wrong”. So often what we put into one category doesn’t look like it fits there very well after a while. However, for the purposes of this reflection let’s think about what’s “good” about habits and what’s “bad” about them.

Habits are good in at least a couple of ways I can think of – they bring us comfort, and so, ease, security and familiarity. We all want those feelings. And they allow us to turn our attention to other things. For example, if I have a routine way of making a cup of coffee, I don’t have to start from scratch every time and figure out how to make a cup of coffee. If I have a habitual path I take to get from home to work (whether walking, driving or taking public transport) I can just set off each day and not have to figure out how to get to my destination.

Why do we think of habits as bad then? Either because they are behaviours which we’d rather not have – for health reasons, or because they are particular patterns which always make us sad or fearful. Or because they restrict us. Because, let’s face it, habits can be very hard to break.

I think there are two ways to change habits –

First, become aware. If I become conscious of my habit then I can choose to repeat it. For example, if there is a particular route I like to take I can consciously choose to go that way, instead of just finding myself following it unthinkingly – that’s the heroes not zombies thing – it’s moving from autopilot to conscious living. Becoming aware and actively choosing doesn’t mean we have to do everything differently. Choosing changes how we experience a routine or a habit.

The second is to create new habits. When discussing how to get out of the same old ruts and loops, I used to talk to patients about “making better dents” – read about that here if you like. The idea though stems from the fact that it is much easier to create a new habit, which can then replace an old one, than it is to try to wrestle an existing one into submission! People talk about the 30 day rule for new habits – start doing something differently, and do it each day for 30 days – that seems to make it more likely to stick!

So instead of beating yourself about the head about bad habits, or struggling to “break” them, why not try first becoming aware of what they are, then either consciously choosing to continue them, to using your imagination to create a new, potential replacement?