Heroes Not Zombies

Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she’s the one I’ve watered. Since she’s the one I put under glass, since she’s the one I sheltered behind the screen. Since she’s the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). Since she’s the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she’s my rose.
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

A rose….but not just any rose.

Saint-Exupéry writes about a rose which the Little Prince cares for, and also writes about a fox with whom he forms a personal relationship. When talking about the fox, he uses the word “taming”, but in both cases he is describing the creation of personal relationships.

For each and every one of us, we experience life personally. We experience everything from our own, unique, subjective viewpoint. As we do that, we form particular, personal connections. You and others will feel differently about particular places, particular creatures, even particular trees and flowers.

It’s the same for us with people. The more we connect to someone, the more special we feel they are to us.

It seems to me that this is one of the best ways to improve the quality of our lives – make connections, form caring bonds…..make life personal.

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In “The Book of Tea” the present is described as “the moving infinite”. When I heard that phrase this morning an image appeared in my mind. It was an image of an “eye-beam”, like the beam of light from a lighthouse, but a symbolic beam running from my eye to the point of focus of my vision. This eye-beam was ranging over the surface the sea, skimming over the waves.

We often hear about “living in the present”, or “in the now”, but of course there is no such “thing” as the present. What I mean by that is there is no such object. The present isn’t a series of frames in a video or a movie running past us so fast it gives the appearance of movement. It isn’t made up of discrete fixed states. It flows. It contains the past from which it emerges and the future it becomes.

I often think of that when I take a photograph.

Look at these beautiful waves breaking on the sand in the photo above. It feels like capturing the present…..at least for a moment. But, of course, it doesn’t capture anything. When my finger presses on the shutter release button, I and my camera create something new. This image.

“Live in the present” is actually another way of say “live with awareness”.

What I really like to do is be aware of where I am casting my eye-beams, and asking myself, what am I going to create with what my vision reveals?

It’s this interplay of awareness and creation which allows me to share a moment with you.

Thank you for sharing your presents.

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Here are a few shells we found on a beach recently.

One of the ways we see the world is by looking for similarities. See how these different shells have certain similarities – if you wanted to, you could classify them according to one or two of their characteristics.

We do that with people too.

In fact, I think there’s way too much of that approach in the world today. We look for some similarity, label it, classify it, and then stop seeing the individual. You could look at that photo and say, oh yes, shells. And move on. Or you could cluster together the ones which have similar shapes, and move on.

Iain McGilchrist, in his “Divided Brain”, shows us how we use our left cerebral hemisphere to do that. It’s a fantastic tool for spotting similarities, and for classifying things according to what is already familiar. Fortunately we have another cerebral hemisphere, the right, which seems to have a completely different set of priorities. It notices uniqueness, sees the connections and contexts of whatever we are looking at, and prioritises a more holistic appreciation of what makes something different.

I reckon this is particularly important when it comes to people.

You are unique.

You have certain similarities with others but there is not another person alive who is exactly the same as you. Nobody has the same story that you do. Nobody has the same particular connections to others, to places and to events, that you do.

And you know what’s even more amazing? There has never been another person in the whole history of this planet who is exactly the same as you. There never will be.

I was very lucky to do the work I did. Every patient I met was unique. Every person had a different story to tell. Nobody was the same as anyone else. I think that reinforced the importance of the right hemisphere approach for me.

What are you going to do with your uniqueness? What are you going to notice, how are you going to respond, what choices are going to make, what story are you going to tell?

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