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Shh…the different quiet places

May 3, 2015 by bobleckridge

Quiet

In my A to Z of Becoming, Q stands for Quiet. I’m thinking and writing about difference just now, so, naturally, it occurred to me this morning that where each of us go to be quiet is likely to be different.

Why be quiet?

Don’t get me wrong, I love conversation and music as much as anyone, but we all need times to just be quiet. Quietness can be calming. It can help us to let go of some of the loops which have established themselves in our minds. It can help us to be present. I know “mindfulness” is all the rage, and, for me, being “mindful” is about being aware and being present.

When we quiet our minds, our emotions and our bodies, we create a little distance from the automatic habits which dominate so much of our daily lives.

Quietness also facilitates reflection. It lets us see things differently and consider them more consciously.

But where can we best find quiet?

Some find it out in Nature, as I did in Aubterre sur Dronne (where I took that photo above)

Some find it in the forest…..

Mirror, mirror

Some find it at the coast…..

just sitting

Some find it in a church….

church

Some find it in a temple…..

kodai ji kyoto

Some find it in a garden…..

A seat in the garden

Sometimes we can find it in our own homes, in a favourite seat, or at a particular window…

window view

How about you?

Where are the places where you can experience being quiet?

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Human difference

May 2, 2015 by bobleckridge

face

No two faces are identical.

Ever.

No two sets of fingerprints are identical.

Ever.

No two pairs of eyes are identical.

Ever.

Have you ever wondered about that? Maybe when you are at a Border Control in an airport, or maybe when you are looking for someone you know in a crowd?

Not only is every single one of us in the world unique, but we are unique in the time dimension too. There has never, ever, been someone with an identical face, identical eyes, and identical fingerprints to you. And there never, ever, will be in the future either.

Human beings are not clones. We are not units of production. Not physically, and certainly not narratively (is there such a word? We each have a unique story to tell….the story which says who we are, what we experience and what sense we make of it all)

Difference is one of our essential characteristics.

Might that be important?

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Personal difference

May 1, 2015 by bobleckridge

rose

In Saint-Exupéry’s “The Little Prince”, the little prince talks about the rose he has been looking after.

“To be sure, an ordinary passer-by would believe that my very own rose looked just like you, but she is far more important than all of you because she is the one I have watered. And it is she that I have placed under a glass dome. And it is she that I have sheltered behind a screen. And it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except for the two or three saved to become butterflies). And it is she I have listened to complaining or boasting or sometimes remaining silent. Because she is my rose.”

Can you ever “park” the personal? Can you ever set aside the “subjective”?

In “The Little Prince”, the rose which the prince looks after means so much more to him than any other rose. Isn’t this an essential truth about one of the ways in which we experience difference in this world? We develop personal relationships. We don’t just form personal relationships with other people, but with other creatures, with certain plants, trees, even with certain inanimate objects. Children often form intense attachments with particular objects – a blanket, a teddy bear, a soft toy. Does this phenomenon disappear? Or do we just move our attachments to other “more grown up” objects – a pen, a car, a favourite cup?

Could you make a list? Could you describe the people, places, creatures or objects which you are particularly attached to? The ones which mean the most to you? You’ll find that your list is very specific – and very different from anyone else’s.

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Noticing difference – contrast and context

April 30, 2015 by bobleckridge

acer

What caught my eye here?

Sure it was the redness of the leaves of the acer, but, what made them even more eye-catching was where the tree was growing, in the midst of luxuriant greenery.

The red contrasts with the green strikingly, so the acer does not just stand out because of its redness, but because of the environment in which it is growing. Had this acer been growing in a forest of acers, it would still have been striking, but this particular one, this individual tree growing in the village of Aubterre-sur-Drone, really captured my attention because it was growing amongst such green plants.

This highlights two important principles related to a focus on difference – contrast and context.

When we focus on difference we become more aware of both contrast (just how different this particular whatever is) and context (exactly where we are seeing the existence of whatever it is).

In other words, to really focus on the difference is not to see something in isolation, but in its relatedness. Contrast is a comparison between something and something else. Context is the place and the time where the something is being observed.

I think this is a point we often miss when we think of difference because there is a tendency to think that if we concentrate on individual uniqueness, we are isolating something, or somebody. I don’t think that is true, or at least, not necessarily true. To really see the uniqueness of anything we have to see it in its connectedness – in its situation, in its particular time and place, in its relationships to “other”.

To see you in your uniqueness, in your difference, I have to hear your story. I have to explore some of the myriad of links and connections you have in the world.

If I try to see you in isolation, I won’t fully see you.

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Noticing difference – the unusual

April 29, 2015 by bobleckridge

hoopoe

If we are to prioritise difference, we have to start noticing it more.

One way to notice difference is to spot the unusual. This is one of the easiest ways because its the very fact that what we are seeing is SO different which catches our attention.

I’ve seen some interesting and different species of birds in my garden here in the Charente, but yesterday look what appeared!

I have never, ever seen a bird like this!

It seems it is a “hoopoe” – nope, I hadn’t heard of it either. But isn’t he spectacular?

Only the one, not a pair, and certainly not a flock. He pecked around and had a bit of supper then flew off. Maybe I’ll never see a hoopoe again, but it was a sheer delight to see one this time!

What is unusual is often striking. And what is striking catches our attention easily. The pleasure and delight can be maximised by allowing your attention to be caught and then lingering awhile – spending a few minutes just watching, noticing, enjoying.

Has anything unusual caught your attention recently?

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Difference

April 28, 2015 by bobleckridge

Redstart

For many weeks I’ve noticed a Robin in my garden, but recently this little guy has turned up.

At first I thought he was maybe a different Robin, or maybe a Bullfinch (I’m not an expert in birds!) but I’ve just discovered he is a “Redstart” with his red breast, black mask and white skull cap. I’d never even heard of a “Redstart” before but apparently they are from the Robin family – you can see similarities with the more common Robin, but he is clearly different.

We live in a society which prioritises sameness. Mass production, mass consumption, standardisation, health care by protocol, science based on abstraction and categorisation.

We do have a lot in common, and that’s partly how we connect to others – shared interests, preferences, values and so on.

I was aware throughout my practice as a doctor that every single person I saw had some things in common with others who I had seen, but who also was unique – different from every other person I had seen. I’d make a diagnosis – chest infection, diabetes, asthma, psoriasis etc by prioritising the signs and symptoms which I had learned were associated with those diseases, but then I had to pay attention to the person and ask who this was who had this disease, ask how it appeared in their particular life, how it affected them in their unique way.

What I’m wondering just now is what might the world be like if we prioritised difference instead of sameness?

What would health care look like if we prioritised the uniqueness of every patient AND every practitioner?

What would the economy be like if we prioritised the uniqueness of each member of the population?

What would education be like?

What would society be like?

Are there certain underlying principles which would come to the fore if we prioritised difference?

I’m going to explore those questions here over the next few days.

Posted in from the consulting room, from the dark room, from the living room, health, life, personal growth, philosophy, photography | 1 Comment »

Nurturing not controlling

April 27, 2015 by bobleckridge

The dominant idea in our society seems to be one of control. From the economy, to society, to health and education, those who hope to improve matters have been seduced by a certain philosophy (typical of what is referred to as “scientific”) which is based on measuring starting points, setting end points and employing the tools to control the process of moving from the one to the other.

Actually, in “open systems”, which are “complex” (based on multiple non-linear relationships between the parts), this idea fails to match reality.

We cannot completely measure or control living systems.

The economist, Hayek, put it this way –

So, here’s the question – what is an “appropriate environment”?

What sets the conditions for health? For the creation of healthy individuals, healthy societies and healthy economies?

Posted in from the dark room, from the living room, from the reading room, life, personal growth, philosophy, photography | 1 Comment »

Creating space

April 26, 2015 by bobleckridge

St George de Didonne

I took this photo of my son and his children on the beach at Saint George de Didonne recently. It so happened we were the only people on the beach at that point.

In my A to Z of Becoming, P can stand for Pause.

I wonder how you make the pauses in your life?

In the part of France where I live now Sundays are still a very different day of the week. Shops close – even the supermarkets – and the pace and feel of a Sunday is distinct. In many societies we have lost that regular point in the week where we can step off the treadmill, relax, sit back, reflect, or do whatever we need to do get a bit of space again in what so often is an over-stuffed busy week.

Holidays can be a time to pause too. A few days in the year where we can just step out of our routines and get the chance to re-connect to ourselves, our values and our priorities.

A time of pause gives us the chance to make conscious choices because it creates a space – in turn, this gives us a chance to shift our perspective and see our lives in their contexts.

So, maybe it would be good to work out where you can create your opportunities to have pauses. And maybe you should allow yourself to enjoy one sometime very soon!

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More, more, more

April 25, 2015 by bobleckridge

Working the vines

Living surrounded by vineyards is influencing my perspective on life.

There is a little shop next to the tourist information office in the nearby village of Segonzac where you can drop by and taste a cognac or two and explore the individual produce of several local distillers. This is small scale cognac production – families who have worked the same vineyards for generations, tended the vines, plant by plant, through the seasons of each year.

Every year they strive to produce the best quality grapes they can from their vineyard. And each year they strive to produce the tastiest cognac they can – taste which is not just pleasurable but unique and distinctive.

It’s delightful to head home with a bottle of cognac produced 40 years ago by the father of the man who sells it to you.

The focus is quality. Quality and that unique, distinctive flavour. These vineyards and distilleries have been productive for years and years. They don’t “succeed” by producing more and more every year.

They don’t survive by buying up all the surrounding vineyards and becoming global mega-corporations. (there are cognac producers in the area which are a bit like that – big, multinational companies).

They thrive by doing well what they do well. Their focus is on quality and what makes their particular cognac unique.

We hear so much these days about the need for “growth” – more consumption, more production, more sales, more profits.

There is another way.

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The narrative of change

April 23, 2015 by bobleckridge

Shell

We create stories by weaving together the past, the present and the future. Stories have a direction. They develop from “once upon a time” and lead up to “The End”. Although we can always find a “prequel” and a “sequel” which layer this story into another one.

No story stands alone.

No life exists in isolation.

The story of the Universe is a story of change…..from a time about 14 billion years ago of the emergence of stars which became great creators of, ultimately, all the elements of the Periodic Table, to the creation of the Earth, Life on Earth, and the evolution of consciousness. We haven’t reached “The End”. The Universe story is still being unfolded.

The story of Life is a story of change……every single organism is born, matures, and dies.

The story of any individual is a story of change. We develop from a single, fertilised egg, to this incredible complex, adaptive organism with astonishing powers of adaptation, resilience, self-healing and growth.

Your story is a story of change.

Your story is embedded in multiple layered stories of others.

And here is the most exciting thing – YOU are the author, and the hero, of your unique personal story. Every day you write the next few pages as you live them. You write today’s passages from the memories of all the ones which went before, woven into the events and experiences of today, set within the framework of your hopes and expectations which you create with your imagination.

You write today’s passages, and indeed your entire story in the context of the multiple stories you hear from others – family stories, friends’ stories, colleagues’ stories, and the stories told by the Establishment, the Media and others.

Finally, your story becomes a stimulus and an influence on others. Others will write their stories, live their lives in particular ways, partly because of the stories you create and send out into the Universe through the way you live your daily life.

Posted in creativity, from the living room, life, narrative, photography | Leave a Comment »

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